OoFAH! Things are going to be a bit chaotic and dusty on the ol' blog here as I make preparations for the coming new year. I haven't journaled nearly enough this year, but that's okay because on the whole this year has been GOOD. Life has been changing, growing, and settling into its new and steady rhythm and I've been present for it, taking it all in. There were/are still challenges, but perspective has rendered them surmountable.
So the title will be changing, along with a post detailing the story behind it. In conjunction with that, I'll likely be more public with this blog which is something I miss from years ago. In fact, I don't think there are currently any comments here -which is how I like it for the time being- so if anyone actually does read this (I'd be surprised) I hope you'll stick around in the future. I'll be posting more about my life, my passions, my projects, and anything else that tickles my fancy.
Follow your bliss!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Bringin' it Back
Well how's that for coming full circle? My last post was about wanting to see Buckethead after his couple-year touring hiatus, and we just saw him Friday night at the Great American Music Hall in SF! Even though our evening in the city was kind of a bust the show was as great as always. I did feel bad that I didn't make him a little gift though; at past shows I've drawn him a little picture to thank him for sharing his music but I just didn't get my act together in time. Hopefully he'll come around again in fall -and even more hopefully, return to the Mystic in Petaluma!
And as per usual, life has been progressing at it's ever-forward pace. Thankfully, it's also been going well. Or at least, I've found a much more positive and further-reaching outlook on things and it really keeps things in perspective. I'll likely blabber on about things more in the future, but I'll just say life is good and you can experience it that way. :)
Until next time. Wishing you love, peace, and happiness!
And as per usual, life has been progressing at it's ever-forward pace. Thankfully, it's also been going well. Or at least, I've found a much more positive and further-reaching outlook on things and it really keeps things in perspective. I'll likely blabber on about things more in the future, but I'll just say life is good and you can experience it that way. :)
Until next time. Wishing you love, peace, and happiness!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
These go to 11...
Man, I wish Buckethead was well enough to tour again. I'm digging Clutch again lately, too. Missed out on tickets for Beats Antique's Fillmore show though, hopefully they'll play Hopmonk in Sebastopol during Tribal Fest this year. Haven't been to a show of theirs but the music is good and the videos I've seen look like the live show is quite the experience.
But Buckethead! I have so missed his shows! When was the last time I saw him, 2008? Yeah, I think so...
I hope he's recovering well. It's rather selfish to wish he'd tour again, but he is just SO AMAZING.
It sounds like I could use a good night out with some loud music, eh?
In other news, I sold Stella today. Le sigh. I wish I had the brains and skill to have kept her, but an automatic is really what I need if I'm going to scoot. I ain'ts cool enough for the old school. :\ Ah well, if it's meant to be one will come my way. In the meantime the tires on my two bikes are pumped up and I can use the legwork...
But Buckethead! I have so missed his shows! When was the last time I saw him, 2008? Yeah, I think so...
I hope he's recovering well. It's rather selfish to wish he'd tour again, but he is just SO AMAZING.
It sounds like I could use a good night out with some loud music, eh?
In other news, I sold Stella today. Le sigh. I wish I had the brains and skill to have kept her, but an automatic is really what I need if I'm going to scoot. I ain'ts cool enough for the old school. :\ Ah well, if it's meant to be one will come my way. In the meantime the tires on my two bikes are pumped up and I can use the legwork...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
OW OW OWWWWWW
I wonder if I'll ever be pain-free in my wrist and arm.
It seems the piano is lost to me (and not only because it went to its new home today), typing/mousing for more than 10 minutes or so is aggravating, any kind of house or yard work is just guaranteed for trouble. And creative ventures? I really haven't dared to try. Of course it doesn't help that I have very little inspirado-and what is there is fleeting.
But the sky and the yard and the air are so beautiful, and the puppies and the chickens and the goats all seem so happy and carefree, and there is such greatness and beauty and wonder to experience! So where can I fit in now with my adapted limitations? I still don't know! I can't yet see it!! I will get the answer, in time, I'm sure. But these past couple years have been so hard. So hard!
Pardon me while I vent my frustration over everything I've experienced and everything I've left undone.
So is this still "unresolved grief issues" or is this perhaps some lovely "unresolved anger issues", or is it simply Unexamined Life Issues? I'm thinking it's all tied up in that last one. Which is why I'm sure I would probably benefit from counseling. But ARGH I HATE having to peel back old wounds, much less having to scratch them ALL open again to have some stranger try and make sense of it all -when I sure as hell can't seem to.
I also probably shouldn't listen to moody piano music that I haven't listened to since Grandpa was still interested in hearing classical music, and why I shouldn't post so close to my cycle. And why I shouldn't have a swig of rum after not drinking for several months. Wrap that all up in a pipe and smoke it and see how productive and lucid you are.
And that's probably what's so frustrating!! I have all kinds of new ideas and things that need to be done but f if I can seem to carry it out -mentally or physically. I just want to lay out under the stars and have it all revealed!
Is that too much to ask?
In other news, our fence is finished. I have literally built a wall between myself and the happiest and safest place of my past. But it's not that place anymore. It really is the shell of what it once was; the heart, the family, has left it. And it is sad and painful to see. Every time I am there I find a new and deeper appreciation for what Grandma and Grandpa did to make it possible and to maintain it, and it's that much harder to see it empty and seemingly abandoned. I'm not sure what new tenants will mean. For one, it would mean I would no longer need to check on the place -indeed, I could no longer drop in or linger in the yard. But perhaps that would let/force me to say goodbye to it for real? Sometimes I think it would be best if it was cleared to the ground and the new tenants would start fresh. Sometimes I wish it would always be there, forever that haven of values and practicality and sense and hope.
God, I miss them.
I must be very damaged if I can't make my way through life at the age of nearly 35 without my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather.
It seems the piano is lost to me (and not only because it went to its new home today), typing/mousing for more than 10 minutes or so is aggravating, any kind of house or yard work is just guaranteed for trouble. And creative ventures? I really haven't dared to try. Of course it doesn't help that I have very little inspirado-and what is there is fleeting.
But the sky and the yard and the air are so beautiful, and the puppies and the chickens and the goats all seem so happy and carefree, and there is such greatness and beauty and wonder to experience! So where can I fit in now with my adapted limitations? I still don't know! I can't yet see it!! I will get the answer, in time, I'm sure. But these past couple years have been so hard. So hard!
Pardon me while I vent my frustration over everything I've experienced and everything I've left undone.
So is this still "unresolved grief issues" or is this perhaps some lovely "unresolved anger issues", or is it simply Unexamined Life Issues? I'm thinking it's all tied up in that last one. Which is why I'm sure I would probably benefit from counseling. But ARGH I HATE having to peel back old wounds, much less having to scratch them ALL open again to have some stranger try and make sense of it all -when I sure as hell can't seem to.
I also probably shouldn't listen to moody piano music that I haven't listened to since Grandpa was still interested in hearing classical music, and why I shouldn't post so close to my cycle. And why I shouldn't have a swig of rum after not drinking for several months. Wrap that all up in a pipe and smoke it and see how productive and lucid you are.
And that's probably what's so frustrating!! I have all kinds of new ideas and things that need to be done but f if I can seem to carry it out -mentally or physically. I just want to lay out under the stars and have it all revealed!
Is that too much to ask?
In other news, our fence is finished. I have literally built a wall between myself and the happiest and safest place of my past. But it's not that place anymore. It really is the shell of what it once was; the heart, the family, has left it. And it is sad and painful to see. Every time I am there I find a new and deeper appreciation for what Grandma and Grandpa did to make it possible and to maintain it, and it's that much harder to see it empty and seemingly abandoned. I'm not sure what new tenants will mean. For one, it would mean I would no longer need to check on the place -indeed, I could no longer drop in or linger in the yard. But perhaps that would let/force me to say goodbye to it for real? Sometimes I think it would be best if it was cleared to the ground and the new tenants would start fresh. Sometimes I wish it would always be there, forever that haven of values and practicality and sense and hope.
God, I miss them.
I must be very damaged if I can't make my way through life at the age of nearly 35 without my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Form Follows Function?
I need to reconcile two diametrically opposed facets of my personality if I'm ever going to be creative again; the side that wants to create anything fun and/or beautiful to look at, and the side that wants things to have a practical function. As yet I have not found a middle ground.
Therefore... quotes!
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”
—F. Scott Fitzgerald
Oops. Fail.
"Form follows function - that has been misunderstood. Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union."
—Frank Lloyd Wright
Sounds good, if not rather sanctimonious...
"Frank Lloyd Wright... his things were beautiful but not very functional."
—David Byrne
Oh snap!
“Necessity is the mother of invention, it is true, but its father is creativity, and knowledge is the midwife”
—Jonathan Schattke
And what is the afterbirth, eh?
“It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.”
—Vincent van Gogh
It's the thinking about my work that makes me crazy...
“That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward.”
—Ernest Hemingway
Mm.
“Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things.”
—Ray Bradbury
Easier said than done, my friend!
Therefore... quotes!
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”
—F. Scott Fitzgerald
Oops. Fail.
"Form follows function - that has been misunderstood. Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union."
—Frank Lloyd Wright
Sounds good, if not rather sanctimonious...
"Frank Lloyd Wright... his things were beautiful but not very functional."
—David Byrne
Oh snap!
“Necessity is the mother of invention, it is true, but its father is creativity, and knowledge is the midwife”
—Jonathan Schattke
And what is the afterbirth, eh?
“It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.”
—Vincent van Gogh
It's the thinking about my work that makes me crazy...
“That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward.”
—Ernest Hemingway
Mm.
“Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things.”
—Ray Bradbury
Easier said than done, my friend!
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